VISITING THE CHILDREN AT BOARDING SCHOOL

Last Saturday was my children visiting day at the school.  It is a beautiful time to spend with the children.  I hardly miss their visiting day. It is refreshing to spend quality time with the children during visiting days.  No need to be in a hurry, early arrival gives adequate time.

The mindset of picnic and fun is a good one when visiting.  The following are suggestions on how to maximally use our time when we visit the children at school;

SHOW AFFECTION – As soon as you set your eyes on them, give them a bear hug.  Hug them warmly like you really missed them.  No cold hug or indifferent peck.  Let’s make effort to be different from some of our parents that never hugged or pecked us.  Some did that occasionally.  We should show them love in our actions and words too.  Everyone needs love and no amount is too much.  Phrases like, ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ should be used abundantly.  This will help them psychologically not to be carried away when that comes from someone who means no good.

 

CATCHING UP TIME – They have been away from the house for a while, it is necessary to talk about what they missed and what you missed not having them around too.  You may need to ask questions to encourage them to talk.  They may not open up easily especially the teenagers.  I humbly suggest the following questions;

a)     Are you having trouble with your studies?  Are you having difficulty understanding any subject?

b)     Are all your notes up to date?  You may need to do more detailed work on this on forum day.  Check the notes, the assignments and the tests on the ‘open day’.  Open day or forum day is the day set aside for parents and guardians to access and check the books and performance of their wards.

c)     Is any student bullying you?

d)    Are you having issues with any teacher?

e)    Is any of your school items missing?

f)     How is your health?

g)     Have you been to the clinic lately?

Listen attentively as they answer and give advice accordingly.

TALK ABOUT CHURCH ACTIVITIES – It is important to talk about Sunday services and other activities at the church.  They have been away from home, it is important to check on their spiritual health.  Ensure they attend church regularly at the school.  Encourage them to serve in one way or the other at the school chapel if possible.  They can join the choir, drama group, etc. 

Advise them to tithe every money you give them and also to give offerings.  Ask about the service at the church etc.  Encourage them to jot down messages preached at the school church.

DISCUSS THE SCHOOL HYGIENE – It is important to know the hygiene of the school environment so as to advise your ward better.  Talk about the availability of water at the school, the toilet system, the hostel.  Listen carefully and give counsel and encouragement accordingly.  They should not expose themselves unnecessarily.  Precautionary measures should be taken to avoid getting easily infected.  Advise them to wash hands properly as often as possible.

SEX EDUCATION – This is a must discuss when you visit your ward at school.  The rate of molestation and sexual abuse has become so rampant that no should be quiet about it.  Revisit all you have taught your children about parts of the body (the private and the public.  Remind them that nobody should touch them in the private part.  It is also important to instruct them never to touch anyone too (Many parents ignore this part).  Affirm that you will always believe them whenever they report anyone to you.  This will encourage them to open up.  We should make effort to win their confidence so they can tell us everything.

SHARE THE SCRIPTURE AND PRAY WITH THEM - It is important to share the scriptures with the children.  Most times I present my scriptures in form of stories.  I start with, ‘story story, once upon a time in the bible days’.  Then I go ahead and tell them the story from the scripture.  I always open the bible so I don’t tell the story out of context.  After the story, I ask them lessons learnt.  Then we discuss the whole story.  A few times I read verses of the scripture and explain to them.  The story type is their favorite.  Each time they hear, story story, they respond story excitedly.  It is important I mention that few times I forget my bible, I read the scriptures from my phone.  Also when I forget the scripture of a story, I use Google to search it out.

I pray with them after discussions.  The prayer always starts with thanking God. This is followed by prayer points born out of the challenges they mentioned and other regular issues.

EAT WITH THEM – Enjoy the meal you brought with them.  Don’t watch them eat, eat with them.  Do not be ashamed of whatever you brought.  Refuse competition with other

THINGS TO GO WITH WHEN VISITING;

a)   Go with a picnic mat

b)   Go with their provisions and toiletries

c)   Go with cooked food, fruits drinks

d)  Cutleries and drinking water

e)  Charge your phone battery so that they will play game

f)   Malaria tablets, if you are in this part of the world with mosquitoes

g)   The bible, to share the scripture

Finally, I want to encourage parents to try as much as possible never to miss the visiting day of their children day.  Planning ahead of time is essential.  Buy their provisions and toiletries bit by bit if it is hard to buy all at once.  Our presence is very important and spending quality time is the objective.  Go with the little you can, it is better than being absent.  It is heart breaking to watch some students cry when no one visits.  When I see some with worried looks and tears in their eyes, staring hopefully at the gate hoping and believing that Daddy or Mummy will visit, I feel bad.  I will plead with parents to kindly call and inform them if visiting will not happen.