Respect in marriage is one of the most important
determinants of marital health and resilience.
No one wants to be treated like a piece of trash. We all need to be
treated right. The man needs the respect
dose more. You may find it a bit difficult to respect him when you think you
are smarter, more efficient and had more common sense than he did. Even if you
are, he is still the head. People hold
leadership positions and are expected to be respected, though they may not be the
smartest around. Same way we have to
respect the husbands even when we think they are not as smart as we are. The
number-one need for men is honor and respect. Men cannot meet that need
themselves. We have to respect our
husbands to meet that need. The home
seems to be the only place most of them are Bosses, we shouldn’t take that away
from them. After being bossed around at work place and other places, they
should come home to be the Boss. It is
even worse when they are the Boss at the office and return home to be reduced.
Considering the scenario above, these
are the following observations;
a)
His wife should have greeted him at the
door with a hug.
b)
The children should have gone to
welcome him and collect his bag.
c)
They should have stopped their game and
TV and welcomed him excitedly.
The greatest need of a man is respect. Every normal man is
egoistic and that ego needs to be massaged as often as possible. One thing I know is that men gravitate to the
place where they receive honor and respect. If he can only get it from work, he
will pour himself into his job. Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, each one of you
also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” God knew what He was talking
about. Men want to know that they are respected by their wives above every
other person. Every man feels this internal pressure to excel. We need to
be successful at least one place in our life. If we can’t feel that respect
in our home, we will find that somewhere else.
Ladies, you want your husband to love you unconditionally.
Are you willing to respect him unconditionally? Even if He is less than a King,
treat him like a King. Someday, he will
become the King you expect him to be.
You may not be all lovable at all times, but you want him to
still love you. Likewise Respect your
husband, even if he is not respectable. That’s the standard the Bible gives to
women. Two captains cannot be in a
ship. Ephesians 5:24 says, “Therefore as
the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in
everything”. According to this
scripture, let’s see ourselves as our husbands’ subject, honestly it will be
easier for you. Don’t argue with him,
never challenge him. Even if he is
right, he is the head.
Here are practical ways we can honor and respect our husbands:
1. Allow him to fail. This is the truth, No human is perfect so men are
imperfect. They make mistakes. A lot of women damage their marriage
relationship by trying to prevent their husband from making those mistakes. So
they correct their husband or tell him what to do. That’s not the wife’s role. After presenting your suggestion in a humble
manner, if he insists, allow him.
A better approach is to allow him to learn through failure.
Let him make a wrong turn. Let him mess up from time to time. Don’t allow him
to wallow in self-destructive behavior, but let him be imperfect.
2. Let God mold your husband. Husbands aren’t
really looking for a wife who will try to change them. Many men need
changing though, but the Biblical way to do this is through prayer. Wives, it’s okay to
speak up when your husband does or says something you disagree with. Don’t try
to correct him and change him. But once you say what you want to say, remember
it’s not your job to change him. That’s God’s job. Pray for your husband and
rely on God to change his heart and mind.
Husbands aren’t really looking for a wife who will try to change
them. Granted many men need changing, women too but the Biblical way to do
this is through prayer and modeling change for us.
3. Honor the man you want him to be. Please treat him better than he
deserves, and in doing so, he will desire strongly to be a better man. He will
want to live up to your expectation. Men go crazy for honor and will become
their fullest, healthiest selves in an atmosphere of respect.
What do you see in your husband? What first attracted you to
him? Honor him at that level, and watch him rise to it.
4. Cover his faults and focus on his strengths. The devil wants us to pay too much
attention to our spouse’s worst qualities. But God wants us to think about the
best qualities in our spouse. I believe, on any given day, the good virtues of
our lives and relationships outweigh the bad ones.
Women, are you more likely to complain about your husband’s
failings or praise him for one of his strengths? Marriage thrives in an
atmosphere of praise. It’s a critical discipline to create within your home.
5. Greet him respectfully. What are the ways people in your
environment show respect when they greet? Please learn it and greet him that
way. When I watch movies I pay attention
to how the race acting greets. I watch
the Koreans greet in a particular way, the Indians also greet in a particular
way. My husband visited Japan some years
ago and talked about the way they bow when they greet. Don’t allow civilization take some good
things away from you. No matter a man’s
race or tribe, he yearns for respect.
6. Serve him food honorably. Many married women are guilty of this, let’s
make effort to serve our husbands by ourselves and not delegate it. Let’s ensure we serve them respectfully.
7. Refrain from interrupting him when he’s talking. It is good to listen when he is talking. It is disrespectful to interrupt people when they are talking. Don’t interrupt his talk and don’t talk back at him.
Thanks for reading, your contribution will be appreciated in the comment section. Thanks in anticipation.
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