THE RED FLAGS TO WATCH OUT FOR IN A RELATIONSHIP

Marriage is a serious business and it is not to be entered into carelessly.  It is important to be observant and at alert when in a courtship. When we carefully observe our partner, we will be able to know the success status of the relationship.  Many signs are too obvious to be ignored.  If you are in a relationship, I suggest you reassess it with the following points;

UNWILLINGNESS TO TALK THROUGH ISSUES

1)      All couples have disagreements but unwillingness to talk through issues either big or small is a serious red flag.  If it is not talked about, how can it be resolved?  Many times talking about issues solves the problem.  I watched a story of two brothers who kept malice and hated each other over the years.  One felt seriously offended that the brother abandoned him at school.  They never discussed it until after 20yrs.  This was the root of the bitterness that gave birth to so many other hurtful actions and words.  On the day that opportunity came up divinely for them to talk about it.  The aggrieved brother realized that his brother had serious allergy and was rushed to the ER of a hospital.

TRYING TO SEPARATE YOU FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS

2)   When they try to separate you from family and friends, is a neon sign.  Most batterers start from cutting their spouse off from family and friends.  Some go as far as changing their new spouse sim card.  Before this drastic action, there must have been signs of rudeness to family and friends.  It is good to watch out if your partner is always complaining about friends and family.

IF THEY DISRESPECT AND DISREGARD YOU

3)   Don’t bother staying in a relationship where you lose respect and your self- dignity is continuously eroded.  You are created in the image of God, refuse to be trampled upon.  The seed of God is in you, the seed of greatness.  Walk away from relationship that kills your self-esteem.  Some people don’t feel good until they reduce another.  They erroneously think that they increase when they reduce others. 

IF THEY ARE UNCARING AND DISRESPECTFUL TO PARENTS

4)   Some people live large in the cities while their parents starve in the villages.  A story was told of a young lady who ran away from her husband when she found out his parents were living in abject poverty.  She couldn’t reconcile the affluent life she is living at the city with the husband and the lack her parents in law are experiencing.  Please keep your eye open for partners who have a fundamental lack of respect for their parents. If they can bear to be super harsh and ungrateful to the people who literally gave them life, what does that say about how they'll treat others who get close to them?

LAZY AND WITHOUT FOCUS IN LIFE

5)   It is not good to go on a journey with someone going no where.  Some people have no life vision and will slow you down in life and destiny if you stay in a relationship with them.  Some people live life without purpose and plan, looking for who to live off.  Please take to your heels if you see any sign of a parasitic partner who has nothing to offer in a relationship.  You may be madly in love from the beginning and can cope but after a while, it will be difficult.  It is not a good feeling to feel used.

THE RELATIONSHIP LACKS TRUST

6)   A partner that suspects every move you make will not give you rest in a relationship.  Why would anyone want to date someone he/she doesn't trust? Checking your Facebook inbox in peace without someone mouth-breathing over your shoulder is practically a basic right! You are 100 percent entitled to autonomy and privacy.  They can have a look once in a while but turning to a monitoring spirit in your life is not to be tolerated.  Who needs that?

THEY ARE HIDING THE RELATIONSHIP

7)  A relationship where your partner is not proud of you and refuses to introduce you to family and friends, has no future.  It is true some people simply don't like displaying their personal life on the social media or even talking much about their feelings with friends.  This is different from flat-out hiding your relationship, which is about as glaringly red as any flag can get!

THEY FEEL INSECURED

8)   We all feel in-secured at some level, and it's nobody's fault for feeling that way.  The truth is that no reassurance from a partner will ever be enough, because insecurity issues live inside the person feeling them. If insecurity dictates a person's life, it can just as easily dictate their relationship.  Some people will still feel in-secured even if your name is faithfulness.  If you are sure you are not responsible at all for this feeling of insecurity, this is a serious red flag.

BAD TEMPER THAT LEADS TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

9)   One very important reason to walk away from relationship is the issue of domestic violence.  Domestic violence is not to be tolerated at all.  Many have lost their lives by this monster.  If your partner gets easily angry and throw things off violently, beware.  If they scream and shout unnecessarily at the slightest provocation, watch it.  If he has ever beaten you up or any other person, that’s a red flag.

LACK OF AFFECTION AND ATTENTION

10)  We make time for people we love.  When we are too busy, we still create time for them.  He doesn’t call you all day long because he was in a meeting or training.  What of the tea break and lunch break time?  Some really busy partners call even from the convenience because they miss you.  If he doesn’t pay attention to your concerns, he is not affection.  Think twice if you can cope with a partner like that.